Oh god, when can I sleep?
Oct. 18th, 2005 11:20 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bethlakshmiApparently stress is what kept me going last week. I'm now dead on my feet. I think Sunday was coming down day, and yesterday and today the full wave has hit. I'm so tired, I can barely focus, and I've already had a big pig-mug full of coffee.
Last night was first rehearsal in the space - tech. So far, so good. I remember being a little girl and my parents doing tech for their amateur theater group. I remember it being boring, and filled with adults yelling (dramatically) at one another. I'm so happy to say that neither one happened last night.![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
new_man did some yelling, but more on the order of 'my voice must be loud, because people in a conversation 100 feet away need to hear and pay attention to me'. Not the "if I scream, maybe you will be less stupid" sort of yelling.
Dancers were all as tired looking as I felt. I think most of us have one reason or another for being in rough shape - disease, exhaustion, personal distress (one dancer just lost her business). But, we managed to plod along, showing reasonable energy on stage, and slumping down after. The peices are improving nicely - now it's just time to keep at them, so they can be the best they can be by the time we do this for people who paid money.
Small gripe - was about ready to kill one of my dancers. She's sick, very sick, walking pneumonia sick. AND she's getting dicked over by her employer, so she doesn't have nearly the amount cash she is supposed to have - which always makes life harder. But, as a result, that puts some burden on me. Once, she interrupted the director (who was addressing the gang) by asking me a question - I saw her coming at me in a moment where he stopped talking to us and had a quick lighting thing to deal with, and still didn't manage to hush it up quick enough to not be rude. And... the problem was that she didn't have anything to stick a pastie on with... and she has no money to get anything with so I lent her my spiffy new toupee tape. It really isn't the money - worst case scenario - tape for the full show for both of us will run me under $20 - a sum I readily throw at a single dinner, several times a week. The annoyance is the idea that it's somehow my job to lend it. I don't want to be a mean person and say "tough", but at the same time, I've been putting a lot of work into my own prep, and I expect other people to do the same.
It's also that I've noticed she's ... scattered. She's fine when she is the center of attention, but when she needs to merely be a player, she's a bit of a challenge. Her attention wanders - big time - with or without other people around. She's full of ideas, but frequently interrupts other people, or leaps in so fast that others can't get a word in edgewise - even if their commentary was more relevant. And if I'm not directing attention at her... I later have to retrieve her from whatever has now distracted her. I know this is classic A.D.D. - I had similar (possibly less dramatic) problems as a kid. I have had an endless string of boyfriends and friends with this problem. I should be used to it... but I'm not. I guess mostly I should simply realize that no one is perfect. While she may be the most accomplished of my dancers - capable of doing something aesthetically pleasing every single time - even when she makes a mistake it looks nice - she is perhaps the least "directable". Sometimes directable means simply shutting up, but paying attention, in case there is something you need to know.
For a group peice, I am unsure of the "win" there. In the future I may gun for dancers who are less perfect in movement, and easier to give instructions to. I find it very rewarding to see a dancer become a better dancer during the course of learning - that's a good pay off to taking a lot of time to learn a peice. Admittedly - in this short development phase, I needed all the insta-perfection I could get - we didn't have time to learn and grow and bloom and all that happy stuff.
But that really is a very small gripe. Nothing can be perfect. Aside from a few technical difficulties I need to fix tonight, I'm pretty happy. I'm doubly happy that the management likes my work. LJ is neat for sneaking a peek at what your directors are thinking. I should also be particularly happy at howmermaidlady and I are interacting. In the past we have mostly done stuff together that was very peer-oriented. Once and a while one of us puts on the "teacher" hat and shows the other how to do something, as we work in very similar spaces in the universe. But we never really take on a "director" role - the difference being that a director has to make calls about what is "good" and "bad" and who is "right" and "wrong" in a space that frequently has no clear answers. If teacher makes a judgement, it's more "works" vs. "broken" which is usually more testable.
I think the two of us have done pretty good at passing the megaphone, if you will. I'm the director for the choreography of Hell, and she lets me make the call. She's the artistic director, so I listen to what she has to say about the show as a whole, and about all the peices I'm in. I should write this, so I remember it as a particularly good thing. If you told me we'd be able to work this well together 5 years ago, I'd have told you were smoking some serious crack.
Most of all, I'm remembering how much I love performing. I know - duh - I take classes endlessly, after all, and the fact that I'm a performance ho is no suprise to anyone. But... there's something very, very different about this caliber of professional theatricalness. This is the real deal, no doubt. I got me some icky-sticky stage makeup, and lots of glamorous costumes. There's insane lighting that justifies said makeup, and a real stage that requires real blocking. There's tech rehearsals, and actual "comp tickets". There's a green room and back stage space. There's drilling and coaching, and directing.
Don't get me wrong. I love low-key stuff, too, and I miss the dancing ladies and Aparna's wacky seat of the pants Indianness. I love intimate audiences, and the welcome-home feeling of the ME dance expo at Pennsic. I love wierd spaces like coffee shops. But there is something ... wow... about "tha theatear" (best snooty accent). A room that is specifically designed to transform us mere mortals into something larger and more glamorous than life. Where we see the world through a glitter bestrewed lens that is intentionally crafted to transport us from a life of grocery lists, personal woes and annoying pointy haired bosses.
And that I will get to do this is really neat. I get to be one of the magicians, and I get to do it by doing something that I'll pay money to do - dancing! I can't even put it into words.
Tonight is arguably the most painful of the rehearsals - long-dress. Tonight, we watch each and every crappy little detail, to make sure nothing runs amok for the real show. And if it sucks, we do it again, and again, and again, and again... blech. If there will be yelling, it will be tonight. Tomorrow we do a tight dress rehearsal, to make sure we can hit the timing just right. So, the nitpicking has to be done tonight.
Big debate - makeup or no makeup? I haven't used real theater makeup in a real theater way in years. I haven't used supplies as nice as I just bought for myself in about 10 years. I could use some practice, and some feedback on it would be useful, as well as the opportunity to figure out how much time it takes. But it is icky. And sticky. And messy. And pore clogging, and sweaty making (and NOT in a sexy way). And... not actually something the director required. Typically makeup isn't done at every dress rehearsal... but I see it as a risk-point.
Ah well - I have two other chores in the theater - glue the pearls, and pin up Satan's cloak. So... the matter may be decided for me. If I don't have time, I won't be doing my makeup.
Last night was first rehearsal in the space - tech. So far, so good. I remember being a little girl and my parents doing tech for their amateur theater group. I remember it being boring, and filled with adults yelling (dramatically) at one another. I'm so happy to say that neither one happened last night.
new_man did some yelling, but more on the order of 'my voice must be loud, because people in a conversation 100 feet away need to hear and pay attention to me'. Not the "if I scream, maybe you will be less stupid" sort of yelling.Dancers were all as tired looking as I felt. I think most of us have one reason or another for being in rough shape - disease, exhaustion, personal distress (one dancer just lost her business). But, we managed to plod along, showing reasonable energy on stage, and slumping down after. The peices are improving nicely - now it's just time to keep at them, so they can be the best they can be by the time we do this for people who paid money.
Small gripe - was about ready to kill one of my dancers. She's sick, very sick, walking pneumonia sick. AND she's getting dicked over by her employer, so she doesn't have nearly the amount cash she is supposed to have - which always makes life harder. But, as a result, that puts some burden on me. Once, she interrupted the director (who was addressing the gang) by asking me a question - I saw her coming at me in a moment where he stopped talking to us and had a quick lighting thing to deal with, and still didn't manage to hush it up quick enough to not be rude. And... the problem was that she didn't have anything to stick a pastie on with... and she has no money to get anything with so I lent her my spiffy new toupee tape. It really isn't the money - worst case scenario - tape for the full show for both of us will run me under $20 - a sum I readily throw at a single dinner, several times a week. The annoyance is the idea that it's somehow my job to lend it. I don't want to be a mean person and say "tough", but at the same time, I've been putting a lot of work into my own prep, and I expect other people to do the same.
It's also that I've noticed she's ... scattered. She's fine when she is the center of attention, but when she needs to merely be a player, she's a bit of a challenge. Her attention wanders - big time - with or without other people around. She's full of ideas, but frequently interrupts other people, or leaps in so fast that others can't get a word in edgewise - even if their commentary was more relevant. And if I'm not directing attention at her... I later have to retrieve her from whatever has now distracted her. I know this is classic A.D.D. - I had similar (possibly less dramatic) problems as a kid. I have had an endless string of boyfriends and friends with this problem. I should be used to it... but I'm not. I guess mostly I should simply realize that no one is perfect. While she may be the most accomplished of my dancers - capable of doing something aesthetically pleasing every single time - even when she makes a mistake it looks nice - she is perhaps the least "directable". Sometimes directable means simply shutting up, but paying attention, in case there is something you need to know.
For a group peice, I am unsure of the "win" there. In the future I may gun for dancers who are less perfect in movement, and easier to give instructions to. I find it very rewarding to see a dancer become a better dancer during the course of learning - that's a good pay off to taking a lot of time to learn a peice. Admittedly - in this short development phase, I needed all the insta-perfection I could get - we didn't have time to learn and grow and bloom and all that happy stuff.
But that really is a very small gripe. Nothing can be perfect. Aside from a few technical difficulties I need to fix tonight, I'm pretty happy. I'm doubly happy that the management likes my work. LJ is neat for sneaking a peek at what your directors are thinking. I should also be particularly happy at how
mermaidlady and I are interacting. In the past we have mostly done stuff together that was very peer-oriented. Once and a while one of us puts on the "teacher" hat and shows the other how to do something, as we work in very similar spaces in the universe. But we never really take on a "director" role - the difference being that a director has to make calls about what is "good" and "bad" and who is "right" and "wrong" in a space that frequently has no clear answers. If teacher makes a judgement, it's more "works" vs. "broken" which is usually more testable.I think the two of us have done pretty good at passing the megaphone, if you will. I'm the director for the choreography of Hell, and she lets me make the call. She's the artistic director, so I listen to what she has to say about the show as a whole, and about all the peices I'm in. I should write this, so I remember it as a particularly good thing. If you told me we'd be able to work this well together 5 years ago, I'd have told you were smoking some serious crack.
Most of all, I'm remembering how much I love performing. I know - duh - I take classes endlessly, after all, and the fact that I'm a performance ho is no suprise to anyone. But... there's something very, very different about this caliber of professional theatricalness. This is the real deal, no doubt. I got me some icky-sticky stage makeup, and lots of glamorous costumes. There's insane lighting that justifies said makeup, and a real stage that requires real blocking. There's tech rehearsals, and actual "comp tickets". There's a green room and back stage space. There's drilling and coaching, and directing.
Don't get me wrong. I love low-key stuff, too, and I miss the dancing ladies and Aparna's wacky seat of the pants Indianness. I love intimate audiences, and the welcome-home feeling of the ME dance expo at Pennsic. I love wierd spaces like coffee shops. But there is something ... wow... about "tha theatear" (best snooty accent). A room that is specifically designed to transform us mere mortals into something larger and more glamorous than life. Where we see the world through a glitter bestrewed lens that is intentionally crafted to transport us from a life of grocery lists, personal woes and annoying pointy haired bosses.
And that I will get to do this is really neat. I get to be one of the magicians, and I get to do it by doing something that I'll pay money to do - dancing! I can't even put it into words.
Tonight is arguably the most painful of the rehearsals - long-dress. Tonight, we watch each and every crappy little detail, to make sure nothing runs amok for the real show. And if it sucks, we do it again, and again, and again, and again... blech. If there will be yelling, it will be tonight. Tomorrow we do a tight dress rehearsal, to make sure we can hit the timing just right. So, the nitpicking has to be done tonight.
Big debate - makeup or no makeup? I haven't used real theater makeup in a real theater way in years. I haven't used supplies as nice as I just bought for myself in about 10 years. I could use some practice, and some feedback on it would be useful, as well as the opportunity to figure out how much time it takes. But it is icky. And sticky. And messy. And pore clogging, and sweaty making (and NOT in a sexy way). And... not actually something the director required. Typically makeup isn't done at every dress rehearsal... but I see it as a risk-point.
Ah well - I have two other chores in the theater - glue the pearls, and pin up Satan's cloak. So... the matter may be decided for me. If I don't have time, I won't be doing my makeup.
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no subject
Date: 2005-10-18 04:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-18 04:28 pm (UTC)Yes make-up
Date: 2005-10-18 04:46 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-18 05:05 pm (UTC)Re: Executive Decision
Date: 2005-10-18 05:17 pm (UTC)If you do your make-up tonight, don't make other people late. That is do it, unless it mucks with the schedule. And I agree about the talented, sick, but need to be center stage young lady.
Re: Executive Decision
Date: 2005-10-18 05:54 pm (UTC)Re: Executive Decision
Date: 2005-10-18 06:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-18 08:05 pm (UTC)It's also classic unprofessionalism. You know her and I don't, so I have no idea if there's some particular reason to suspect neurological damage. But if not -- and even if so -- the problem may be that no one has sat her down and explained what is expected of her in a professional theater environment, in small words and unambiguous steps. e.g. "I need you to not interrupt the director, ever. That doesn't just mean not talking to him. If he is speaking, to anyone, you must not speak to anyone else if you are in the same room, unless the building is on fire. I know this is very different than normal conversation. It is part of theater professionalism and is what is expected of performers at our caliber."
By making a neurological excuse for people, you're depriving them -- including those with actual neurological problems! -- of learning what is considered professional conduct. Because many people with ADD can compensate for their disability, if they're given clear instructions as to what you need them to acheive and they are highly motivated. What they can't compensate for is unarticulated wishes or assumptions that they would "just get it". They can't accomodate that, no one can. If someone hasn't managed to just pick up on the norms of theater work by osmosis, they won't know what they need to do different (or what they're doing that is pissing off or disappointing others) until they are told.
And I speak as someone who had to be told, and remain infinitely grateful to the person who spelled it out to me. And as someone who has spelled it out for others, so they could get it, too.
no subject
Date: 2005-10-22 03:04 pm (UTC)I have every reason to believe she's done more professional theater than I have. She's young, but it's been her main focus in life, near as I can tell. I, myself, have hopped about from orchestras, to theaters, to dance shows - so wouldn't be tempted to say my professional theater background is extensive, although with any performing art there is a "guy in charge" and you don't interrupt him. :)
no subject
Date: 2005-10-19 04:11 am (UTC)I feel for you. I'm stuck working with someone with the same traits on various projects important to me, and for the most part, you just described them to a T. It doesn't help that our interpersonal dynamic outside the work is such that if it's not to discuss the projects, I can barely stand being in the same room with them. I have to admit, even having occasionally serious ADD symptoms myself, it never occurred to me they might have it. Harsh, but I have a hard time sometimes telling if a person's acting under impulses they truly can't control, or are just allowing themselves to be an attention whore.
Big debate - makeup or no makeup?
I would completely echo the pro-makeup comments, with a note of caution. Since you're getting much more nude than your average actress, you're going to either have to go easy on the foundation (or omit it altogether), or be extremely good at blending. Nothing looks worse than that my-stage-makeup-ends-here line around the chin or neck, and it's not like you can put it on your entire body. It was always a particular problem for me, as I'm too pale to get a decent skin match. However, the blush, lipstick, liners, eye make up, highlights and lowlights - if you're under stage lights you'll want to do something to avoid facial washout.