Let yourself believe you can fly.

[bethlakshmi]

Lakshmi, Emine and Dr. Utpola Borah at KWDMS - last minute of last day before we fly like the wind to get me on the plane home.

I had a super great time at KWDMS last weekend.  I shared a room with HRH Thura and Master Valizan.  That makes us all sound quite classy, but in truth we were anything but.  Three enthusiastic dancers is bound to be energetic, enthusiastic and not at all decorious.  Just the way I like it.  My classes and performances went well overall, and I had a great time.  The experts brought in by Chandara where out of this world - I particularly fell in love with Dr. Utpola Borah and her husband Dr. Hans Utter - they are both Indian Hindustani music experts, and their skill and teaching was simply awesome.  I'd go on at length to make all of you jealous, but I have other things I want to write about, so please take an action to feel jealous for having missed it and do that later.

For the moment, I was struck last night by wanting to point out how much belief can affect your abilty to move the universe in the direction of your choice.  It's come up in my head many times in the last week, so I thought I'd highlight a few stories along this line:...



Believe you can fly....

When I first started doing Kalari, I'll always remember that Anil and Pradeesh (a dancer with Navarasa at the time), demo'ed a Mei Payattu for us.  Now I know that this was a forumulaic movement sequence that forms a basis for practice.  It is in no way a good example of creative choreography, but it is very much a good demo as it highlights multiple elements of the art and puts them together in a seamless way.  What I was struck with was that these guys could fly.  I don't mean metaphorically, it seemed to me that with their kicks and spins in the air, these guys actually flew in a way that I'd only ever seen in cartoon characters.  It was simply jaw dropping.

With profound doubts about my ability to ever do something so cool, I started studying Kalari.  While I didn't think I could ever learn to fly, I did think that getting a butt busting workout a few times a week would do me some good and this was a lot more fun than arerobics.  Bit by bit hard stuff got easier, but most important, I put faith in my teacher.  He's always had a very good sense of when I cannot do more vs. when I THINK I cannot do more... so many times, I trusted him more than I trusted what my own body said about my exhaustion levels.  It's this sort of trust and shared responsibility that is an essence of Indian learning - a sense of surrender that isn't just lip service.

Why?  Because it turns out you can fly, and the only thing that is in the way is your head.

Seriously.  No, I can't zoom around the world like Superman.  But bit by bit, year by year, I've developed enough core strength that I can jump, spin, circle kick and do other cat like pivots in mid air with varying degrees of accuracy.  Still working on it, but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.  I couldn't do this if I hadn't believed in something.  It started wtih believing that my teacher was a decent guy who would call 911 if I actually had a heartattack while working out...but it transformed into realizing that his belief that I could do impossible things was more reliable than my own belief that I couldn't.  Eventualy it transformed my own belief into truly believing that (with enough practice) I can fly.  And it's not just belief - I now do the mei payattu they demonstrated that day, and I still have enough energy to do more after that.

Why the story?

Because several times this week I've been struck by cases in those around me where the only thing keepign someone from great success was themselves.  Both at work and in dance, I've come into managerial-like situations where the people I was talking to put their own roadblocks up.  Whether it's a disbelief that a goal can be accomplished without money, or power, or some asset that is unpossessed - the people I've talked to have all expressed a lack of belief that the changes they want are within their grasp already.  What it will take is time, effort, and the belief that it can be done.

As a counterpoint, last night I watched my fellow kalari student busting out last night, and thought "wow, he's come a long way".  For several years, this guy has worked hard, but also had serious problems keeping up his stamina.  This past few months he's really been rocking it, and I was struck by his recent statement - "I never realized how much a difference controlling my mind made" - for him, too, believing he could push harder was key to being able to do more.

I wish I knew what the spark was that made me believe - obviously it didn't start with the absurd notion that I could fly.  I'm not nuts.  I had to believe in something a little easer to grok - the idea that the worst that would happen if I tried was not so bad at all.  (in fact, it was bad, I sprained and ankle trying to fly... I maintain, it wasn't flight that was the problem, it was the landing... but that's another story and truth is - I lived to tell the tale....)  And then the belief that trying was going to get me closer to the goal than not-trying.  And then the believe that trying was not quite enough - it would take ongoing effort over a long span of time.  What "long" is is a matter of opinion and circumstance.  For kalari, it's 7 years and counting.  For weight loss, it was 6 months but really a whole lifetime lies ahead..  for many projects on the job, it's 6-12 months, as that's the corporate assessment cycle.

I won't say having a good guru is the only way to get there - it worked for me.  But so did WW when I dared to believe that I could control my eating and change my shape - and in that case, the belief started with the system, rather than myself or my WW leader.  I knew SHE wasn't going to make me skinny, but I had faith that the rules would work if I followed them.  Similarly, I've had faith in bosses, when I'm given big assignments and mentored through finishing them.  None of these things are quite the same, but all show paths of getting the belief that you need to keep putting in the time and the effort.  I don't want to minimize time and effort - without them, belief is merely self-delusion - but I think in many ways, the time and effort are only possible if you believe they will be worth it.  After all, if I really did not believe that a salad will be better for my physique than a cupcake, I would ditch the salad and eat the cupcake every time... even though getting a good salad is easier than getting a good cupcake.

So, if' you've hung in with me to the end of this rambling post - take sec and look at your life.  Be thankful for the places where you've dared to believe, and think about what in your life might change if you dared to believe you could fly.

Comments

[dervishspin.livejournal.com]

YES YES YES!!
I have had a post like this in my head for two weeks, not knowing where to start.
I still might write it, from the direction I was going with it, but thank you for writing this.
Yes.

[missmina]

: )

[jducoeur]

Thanks -- this is really helpful for me to read right now, as I contemplate getting myself in rather over my head with my next project...